Finding Peace by No Longer Chasing
“If I have to chase you to keep you, you’re not a relationship… you’re cardio.”
Somewhere between learning how to compost properly and realizing that my nervous system prefers quiet mornings, I had a revelation: my energy is not a renewable resource. It’s more like heirloom seeds. Limited. Precious. And absolutely not something I’m scattering on rocky soil anymore.
As we step into 2026, I’m officially retiring from the sport of emotional chasing. No more running behind people who seem mildly confused about my value. No more interpretive dance around unreturned texts, half-effort friendships, or relationships that survive solely on my labor. I’m tired. And honestly, I’ve got better things to tend to.
Why Chasing People Is the Fastest Way to Lose Yourself
There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from over-explaining your intentions, softening your needs, or pretending not to notice when you’re the only one showing up. It’s subtle at first. A small tightening in the chest. A quiet resentment. A voice that whispers, “If I just try harder…”
That voice is lying.
Healthy relationships don’t require pursuit. They don’t make you audition for belonging or perform gratitude for crumbs. When someone truly values you, your presence isn’t tolerated, it’s welcomed. You don’t have to convince them to care. You don’t have to chase. You just arrive, and you’re received.
And if you’re not? That’s information.
The Myth That Letting Go Means You Failed
For a long time, I thought releasing people meant I hadn’t loved enough, tried enough, or been enough. But that story collapses the moment you realize this truth: staying where you are unappreciated is not loyalty, it’s self-abandonment.
Letting go doesn’t mean you’re cold, unkind, or detached. It means you’re discerning. It means you’ve learned that mutuality matters. Relationships should feel like shared nourishment, not like emotional volunteer work.
Peace arrives quietly when you stop forcing connection. It shows up the moment you decide that your worth doesn’t need consensus.
Boundaries Are Not Walls, They’re Invitations
Choosing not to chase doesn’t mean you’re closing your heart. It means you’re opening it wisely.
Boundaries don’t say, “You can’t come in.”
They say, “Here’s how to stay.”
When you stop over-giving, you make space for reciprocity. When you stop chasing, you allow people to meet you where you are or reveal that they never intended to. Either way, clarity is a gift.
2026: The Year of Sacred Energy
This year, my energy has a budget. It’s allocated to friendships that feel steady, conversations that feel nourishing, and relationships that don’t require me to shrink, perform, or prove.
I’m no longer explaining my absence to people who didn’t notice my presence. I’m no longer chasing closure, clarity, or connection. I’m choosing peace. And peace, it turns out, is wildly productive.
If someone wants to be in my life, they’ll make room. If they don’t, I’ll make peace.
That’s not bitterness. That’s wisdom.