Imagine…
“There is no better exercise for the heart than to reach down and lift someone else up.”
A handful of years ago, I read a book called Balcony People by Joyce Heatherly. It really had an impact on my life and the way I chose to try to live.
Most people in our lives will fall into one of two categories. They will either be our basement people or our balcony people. Basement people are the ones in our lives who seem to always tear us down. They exhaust us and our relationships with our basement people seem to always be huge amount of work. These are the people who require us to walk on eggshells when around them to avoid conflict and we most likely will find them talking about us behind our backs.
Balcony people, on the other hand are always cheering us on in our life. They always energize us and our relationships with balcony people are always easy because we feel loved and supported by them. Balcony people are the ones in our lives who inspire us and who always make us feel like we can do ANYTHING.
We have all experienced basement people in our lives…..and hopefully, we have all been fortunate enough to have some balcony people in our lives. More importantly, hopefully most of us are striving to BE a balcony person for the people in our own lives.
Imagine that? If everyone in our own circle lived their lives in such a way that we never tore each other down, only edified. We never spoke about anyone behind their back. We never tried to belittle, to undermine or to disrespect. Only loved and supported each other.
Imagine how much we could learn from each other if we put aside any and all differences, worked to communicate in a way to support each other and simply made choices to not ridicule each others efforts to traverse through this crazy world?
Imagine if while you were walking along your chosen path, that every single person that you invited in and chose to share your energy with was standing above you on your balcony and screaming for you to succeed. Cheering for you to win? Throwing confetti to celebrate you and your efforts, no matter how small those may be?
Imagine.
This past year, the hot hub and I have been traversing a pretty darn ugly road. We have stumbled because we are figuring things out as we go. We have been ridiculed and judged by our own family. Our integrity has been questioned. We have been gossiped about and “shit talked” at every turn. We have had our own family members trying to undermine and tear down every single thing that we have been trying to do simply for the sake of tearing us down. It can’t possibly be because we suck at caretaking and they think they can do better - if that were the truth of the matter, they would have stepped in to do the job…or at the very least, they would have TRIED to help.
Now imagine if those family members who are tirelessly judging us and tearing us down for simply trying to take care of our elderly parent, would actually speak to us in effort to help meet the needs of our 85 year old mother in law instead of simply criticizing our efforts?
Imagine, if everyone in our circle was indeed trying to be a balcony person in this world?
Imagine what our situation would be like if anyone would have reached out in ANY capacity when we were sitting with my elderly MIL at the hospital almost 2 years ago and tried to help her understand that she was about to lose the love of her life. Instead, the 3 of us handled all of that ALONE.
Imagine how much smoother things could have gone if any of them would have responded in any capacity to the text that was sent out to every single member of the family stating that the MIL could no longer live alone safely and some very difficult decisions needed to be made about her care. Instead, the 3 of us made every single arrangement ALONE.
Imagine how quickly and peacefully her home of over 30 years could have been packed, cleaned, stored and maintenanced if ANYONE would have responded to the latest round of messages that were sent out asking for help and for them to let us know if there was anything in the house that any of them wanted us to set aside as we prepped for selling it. Instead, the 3 of us spent over 6 months tackling that ALONE.
Imagine…if anyone in the past 2 years had stepped in to offer ANYTHING to assist in the grief, the arrangements, the moving or the resettling of their 85 year old mother or if anyone would have shown up in any kind of capacity to support her through one of the biggest transitions of her life. Instead, the 3 of us handled that ALONE.
Imagine.
I realized that the hot hub and I aren’t the ones who blew up the family these past few years. Their lack of compassion, support, understanding and give a damn did. I am no longer hoping for their support or even their acceptance because in the past 2 years, I have come to realize that people like this need to have zero access to me, my life and especially not my balcony.
As I ran my fingers over the tiny book that moved my life in such a big way, I am thankful for the words that inspired me all of those years ago. I am grateful for my love of written words and especially for the clarity that embraced my spirit this past week and allowed me to turn my face upward….and flip a big ole bird to the basement dwellers of my life. There is no longer time or space for you.
You don’t get to gossip me away from writing about my life. You don’t have the power to keep me from doing the things I love that inspire others or simply bring them joy because YOU think they are “ridiculous” and don’t understand it.
Now….imagine how beautiful my life is.
Imagine.