Who Is The Drama Llama

Setting boundaries isn't just about stepping back from unhealthy people; It's about prioritizing your own peace.

When someone hurts you, and you set boundaries, does that make you a drama queen?

When you cut people out of your life in the aftermath of a shit storm of public ridicule, does THAT make you a drama queen?

When you draw a line in order to protect your own peace, does that make you the drama filled human?

I ask these questions because after an extremely beautiful weekend at our farm, my brain has had some time to process some of the recent conversations, reconnections and healing that took place this past weekend. Frankly, I am just not sure that I want to remove the boundaries that I put in place a year ago. And that very thing was mentioned.

While the Hot Hub and I have had a struggle bus of a year, we are finally getting to a place where we feel like we can both breathe again. Our projects are almost completely wrapped up. We have settled into a fairly nice routine with the MIL being here now. Her house is due to close in a couple more weeks and then THAT will be off the plate too.

So right now, I am not sure that I am ready to “put it behind us.” And that was mentioned.

I can’t just forget the hurt. The outbursts that came out of no where. I can’t excuse away the venom that was publicly shared and then deleted the next day as if it never happened. I don’t want to feel that hurt again. I am sorry, but I don’t. And considering that the individual who caused it has yet to offer any apology for it - instead stating that he doesn’t “do drama” anymore and that while he would love to have us back in his life, there can be no bullshit (his words, not mine) I don’t think I am prepared to just open my arms, my heart and especially not my home to that behavior again. More importantly, I am not prepared to gamble with this peace that we currently have.

Why is it so difficult for some humans to admit when they have hurt others? Why do people on the outskirts feel the need to try to diffuse or worse, invalidate the feelings simply to “put it behind us”?

I am kind of over having to fold up my feelings in order keep peace with toxic people. I shouldn’t have to deal with any human that is vile or otherwise ugly to me for the sake of anyone else. I shouldn’t.

I apologize when I have wronged someone. When my actions and sometimes my words have caused anyone grief. The HH has often accused me of apologizing for things that I didn’t even have a hand in….but setting a firm boundary….I will NOT apologize for that.

As “fun” as it would probably be for everyone else if things could go back to the way it used to be, that can’t happen. I can be kind. I can smile and even be friendly because I am a nice human. I can accept people who are trying to heal and recover. Forgiveness abounds. But I can also keep myself protected…and keep the boundaries in place while the world continues to spin.

What is that saying that my Momma used to say about our words?

Words, once spoken, can never be taken back.